April 2008
2 posts
“She could find those WMDs for her Dad. The hoppers are all over that shit.”
– Wonkette commenter on Jenna Bush moving to Baltimore.
March 2008
6 posts
Recommended: Midnight Juggernauts Tokyo Police Club intense!
Real Questions
Confession: Sometimes I read political articles and scan for ones that will make the most interesting gstatus messages. This makes me a shallow person, and I accept that. When I was in high school, I screened song lyrics for away messages. I did this in college as well. Does my transition from AIM to googlechat represent a sort of evolution, or merely a maintainence of a generational status quo? ...
“I couldn’t watch it. Sorry. I can’t look at her.”
– Andrew Sullivan, The Atlantic.
“No candidate has won the White House without winning the Ohio primary.”
– HRC
YATTA YATTA
OHIOOO! This shit needs to end.
February 2008
3 posts
“It is distressing to hear allegations such as these without being shown a single...”
– Toronto Star Europe bureau chief Mitch Potter on the US holding a CTV journalist without charge as an enemy combatant in Afghanistan.
Dear Jed, As I lay here, feverish and achy, I am compelled to cease my John Krasinski youtube bender and compose. You may remember Schuyler Fisk, who played the tomboy “Kristy Thomas” in the hit movie “The Babysitter’s Club”. She was cute and red-haired, and she may or may not have turned out to be a lesbian. This is hardly the point. The point is that she released...
Breaking: Mitt Romney's Speech
“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day! …but I am suspending my campaign. See you in 2012.”
January 2008
10 posts
Hx's Economic Stimulus Package
Step 1: Buy one of these: http://leisure.travelocity.com/Promotions/0„TRAVELOCITY|4595|airfare_main,00.html?WA1=02050&WA2=R11086&WA6=33&WA4=I Step 2: Use a popular social networking site to launch initiative to persuade all American taxpayers to cash (NOT deposit) their checks on July 4th, 2008. Step 3: Sit on cash. Do not spend. Step 4: Watch economy collapse internally. Step 5:...
“When babies are being bayonetted and people are being flamed, I thought this...”
– Sylvester Stallone, on the new Rambo. [Washington Post]
Cry Havoc! And Let Loose the Dogs of War!
// NONE SURVIVE DEMOCRATIC DEBATE IN SOUTH CAROLINA // Icy stares! Quarreling! Despair! Imputation! Slander! The broken wall, the burning roof and tower, and Agamemnon dead! I can’t wait to see the fallout from this one.
Friday's Internet (A Series of Tubes)
Hx: i just fell in love with you 4 reelz
Boss: ?
Hx: hahaha! I'm sorry! that was for the answering service - i caught them before line rossetti hung up and i thought i had missed her again but they kept her on the line. we've been playing phone tag all day. (internet jargon i guess, i don't actually love the answering service, but i joke with them)
Boss: ok..... well... i know i am a nice guy but kinda already commited.... j/k
Hx: hahah that's funny. its just weird only knowing people through IM's the way the answering service works...so we joke around, and they'll try to keep people on the phone for me if they know i'm waiting for the call
Boss: np makes for fun friday
---
Hx: good god.
Hx: are you alright?
Jed: probably not?
Jed: i'm off my rocker.
Hx: indeed you are, sir
Jed: i am a disillusioned, distilled version of my original self. a shallow, facade of happiness, with a dark torpor preventing me from social discourse.
Jed: i might just freak out over better business cards
Jed: put on sussudio
Jed: and axe murder someone.
Hx: that is fantastic
“You hear about big bass or big buck in the area, but this is a different deal.”
– Ricky Sorrells on UFOs. [Via CNN]
VERDICT: GULF OF TONKIN II LIKELY CAUSED BY...
Filipino Monkey. TFSU. No relation to the Nova Scotian lemur, who served as the catalyst for Iran Contra. “Little by little, they piece it together. He has had quite a trip for himself on his own LSD, has (George W. Bush). It seems that (George W. Bush) took the LSD, a good dose, apparently, and the strobe light and the incredible layers of variable lag began rocking and rippling him and...
Dragged down to DC Kicking and Screaming.
Grover: Ok, the way I see it, if we were an old couple, dated for years, graduated, away from all these scholastic complications, and I reached over and kissed you, you wouldn't say a word, you'd be delighted, probably, but if I was to do that now it'd be quite forward, and if I did it the first time we ever met you probably would hit me.
Jane: What do you mean?
Grover: I just wish we were an old couple so I could do that.
We’re upstaging Bowie’s birthday by launching a blog. I’ll be taking time away from my career as a technical artist at a fairly large patent law firm to cover the goings-on in DC, while my estranged husband will be providing up-to-the-minute pithy bitterness from not one, not two, but ALL THREE counties of Delaware. Woohoo.
